Has anyone talked to you about making an adoption plan for your pregnancy? It is another option you should consider. Like all of them, adoption is a serious and difficult decision. We want to give you as much information as possible so you can make a truly informed choice.
Adoption is a legal, lifelong parenting relationship for a child. A birth mother (and birth father, if he’s available) make an adoption plan. In order to adopt, couples go through detailed interviews, background checks and home visits to determine if they qualify. The process takes time and can be very emotional, but also very rewarding.
Today’s Adoption Process
For a long time, adoption was very hush hush. Because it was socially unacceptable to be an unwed mother, women were sent away to give birth. They had no say in choosing the family, the terms, or even the location of the adoption. Birth mothers were encouraged to never talk about it, and were often made to feel incredible shame.
Adoption today is very different from what it used to be. Unlike before, birth mothers (and fathers, if available) are in complete control of the adoption process. You decide who the adopting couple will be, what type of home life you want for your child, and how much contact you wish to have in the future. In addition, the adopting families pay for all costs associated with the adoption. You are not required to provide anything financially.
If you are not ready to be a parent, adoption allows another parenting option. Listed below are a few adoption plans you can choose from. None of them are right or wrong. It’s what seems best to you.
As a birth parent, you can choose how involved you want to be in your child’s future. An open adoption plan means you and the adoptive family share identifying information such as full names, phone numbers, and addresses. You will have access to one another through face-to-face meetings, phone calls, texts, and letters.
You and the adoptive family decide how much contact you wish to have and what is best for everyone. Some families have very close relationships with their child’s birth mother and possibly father. The birth family becomes another extension of the adoptive family. Others stay in touch through phone calls and Facebook messaging.
Closed or Confidential Adoption
Some women who choose adoption prefer to have no communication with the adoptive family or their child. They feel this is the best choice in order to move on with their lives. As the birth mother, you will still choose the adoptive family, but you do not interact with them before or after the birth.
Your identity remains completely anonymous in a closed adoption. You have total anonymity.
A semi-open adoption means the communication you have will be through a third party, like a lawyer or an adoption agency. You will still choose the adopting family, but your relationship will be more controlled.
You may exchange first names, but usually no other identifying information such as phone numbers or addresses are given. In order to exchange letters and photos, they would be sent to the lawyer or agency first.
Is Adoption Right For You?
Carolina Pregnancy Center can help answer your adoption questions. We can talk about the pros and cons, provide referrals to adoption agencies, and give you all the information you need to make the best choice.
Every woman comes to the decision to make an adoption plan differently. Some women deeply struggle and others know with certainty it is what’s best for both themselves and their child. Either way, you don’t have to make this decision on your own. We’re ready to take this life journey with you.