Do you need healing?
Sometimes the pain can seem overwhelming, but there is hope. If you are dealing with life after miscarriage, abortion, or sexual abuse, or if you are currently in an abusive situation, you are not alone. We want to be there for you to offer comfort, encouragement, and practical help. Grief takes time and healing is a process. We have trained client advocates that can help you begin the healing process and we have licensed counselors that we refer to. You don’t have to stay silent anymore. Please call our office to make an appointment today.
Did you know?
If you have had a miscarriage, you are not alone in your grief. In the United States, an estimated 15% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. Even so, you may feel alone and may carry your grief in silence. We are here to help you embrace hope as you do the hard work of grieving. Give yourself the space and grace you need to mourn.
Anger, sadness, and depression are normal feelings after a miscarriage. You may also experience:
You may be questioning what caused the miscarriage. You may also be wondering whether to tell others. The painful grief of miscarriage is just as heartbreaking as the loss of a full-term baby, but people often don’t reach out and offer comfort and support in the same way. Sometimes they expect the mother to recover quickly or “try again”. This can often deepen the pain and confusion.
Feelings of jealousy can also emerge. The mere sight of a pregnant woman may cause feelings of envy. You may experience jealousy if close friends or family are expecting, while also feeling genuine happiness for them.
It is common to wonder if you did something to cause the miscarriage, or if you could have prevented it somehow. But, often there is no explanation for a miscarriage.
As a woman and a mother, you may experience negative feelings about your body “failing” to carry this child to term.
You may feel as though God is distant, doesn’t care, or question why he would let this happen. While we don’t know the answers to all these questions, we know that God’s heart hurts for you, in the same way your heart hurts for your baby. He will see you through this loss and give hope again.
Suggestions for Coping
Share your story.
Talk to a trusted friend, family member, client advocate, or counselor about your loss. Keep a journal to record your story.
Give yourself permission to do so. This may include setting up personal boundaries with family and friends as a way to protect you from people and situations that are difficult for a time.
While boundaries are necessary, it is important to let friends and family know how they can help support you.
Part of what makes a miscarriage so difficult is the absence of memories and tangible keepsakes. Create or purchase mementos as a way to honor your child who died. Share these items with family and friends as you feel led.
Honor your Child
You can do so by naming your baby or doing something to honor your baby on the due date or other special days. Some ideas include lighting a candle, releasing a balloon, or making a donation to a related cause in your child’s memory.
Seek Spiritual Comfort
Go to God in prayer. Share your feelings and seek peace in Him. Read Bible verses and devotionals that provide comfort and encouragement to you in times of grief.
Consider coming to CPC to talk with a client advocate or counselor. Many of our staff and client advocates have experienced a miscarriage and have been through some of the same things you may be going through now. We are here for you. Call to schedule an appointment today.
There is no timetable for grief. Others may expect you to “move on” when all you really can do is move forward. You will never “get over” your loss, but with God’s help you will get through this.
Know that although you are hurting now, you aren’t alone and there will be joy in your life again. Moving forward doesn’t mean that you are forgetting your baby. There will always be a special place in your heart for your little one. Remember that just as it takes time to heal a broken bone, healing your broken heart will also take time. The healing process is different for everyone, so give yourself time and grace to take it one day at a time.
Call today if you would like more information or to schedule an appointment.
Did you know?
The statistics about sexual crime are both alarming and numbing. According to the Department of Justice, by age 18, one in four women and one in six men have been sexually abused.
Many victims try to block out their past trauma. They hope somehow to work out everything through sheer willpower. They often suppress the extent of their pain, unable to verbalize it. This is a coping method that may work for a while, but can come crashing down when triggered by a memory of abuse. Many survivors of abuse don’t realize how much their previous experiences can poison their future relationships.
If you are a survivor of abuse, there is hope. There is life after sexual abuse. There is healing for your heart, soul, and mind. You are not alone.
You may be struggling with feelings of guilt. No matter what your abuser said, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Whether your abuse happened at a young age, a teen, or an adult, no one has the right to violate you. Your abuser is responsible for his or her own actions, not you. While it is common to feel some guilt or regret over things you wish you had said or done, remember it is not your fault.
Fear of being used
You may feel used easily. Words and actions of loved ones can often trigger memories of abusers. Frustration and resentment can mount against those that may not have been responsible for any abuse. This can often sabotage future relationships.
A distorted view of sex
You may view sex as solely for a man’s gratification. It may be difficult to see sex as beautiful and what God intended. It may seem as if you enjoy sex, it somehow legitimizes your abusers.
Isolation and emotional disengagement
Of all the issues associated with abuse, this may carry with it the deepest, most profound pain. You may find yourself disconnected from those you deeply care for and want to connect with, preventing them from entering the deep places of your heart.
Lack of affection and passion
You may find yourself unable to be affectionate with your immediate family. While you know you are supposed to demonstrate your love in tangible, physical ways, it seldom comes naturally. When your child cries, you may have to tell yourself to hug him.
Be willing to be healed
Emotional healing is like a tunnel that links a barren land with a pristine forest. You’ll never drink from the forest’s mountain spring if you don’t go through the tunnel. But you may feel too afraid to step inside for fear of the dark; and the barren land—bleak as it is—may have a strange familiarity about it. The truth? It’s dark in the tunnel. The hurt is intensified, especially when you can’t see the other side. But the journey is necessary to reach your healing.
Give yourself room to heal
Healing is a journey. Sometimes we decide we have been healed of all our emotional wounds, but we may go through many layers that need healing during the process.
Talk to someone you can trust
You will need someone to listen and pray with you through this process.
Call to take the first step
We would like to help you begin your journey today. Please call and schedule an appointment with one of our client advocates, and then we can match you with a counselor referral for ongoing care.
Did you know?
- 1 in 4 women in church are suffering from an abortion
- 33% of women in America will have an abortion at some point in their lives
- 500,000 women in America have suffered from Post Abortion Syndrome
- 80% of women who have had an abortion suffer from depression
- 44% of abortions are performed on women that have had one or more prior abortions
- 75% of relationships end in a break up after an abortion
Following abortion, many women experience initial relief. The perceived crisis is over and life returns to normal. For many women, however, the crisis isn’t over. Months & even years later, significant problems develop. There is evidence that abortion is associated with a decrease in long-term emotional & physical health.
Women who have experienced abortion may develop the following: guilt, depression, grief, suicidal thoughts, anger, difficulty bonding with their partner or children, anxiety, or eating disorders.
The bottom line is that the scientific evidence indicates that abortion is more likely to be associated with negative psychological outcomes when compared to miscarriage or carrying an unintended pregnancy to term.
People have different understandings of God. Whatever your present beliefs may be, having an abortion may affect more than just your body & your mind — there is a spiritual side to abortion that deserves to be considered.
We believe that after abortion, God offers forgiveness, healing and hope.